Things For Which I am Grateful

I started out the day feeling pretty depressed and angry about the state of the world. The more I fixate on those kinds of feeling, the more bad things pop into focus. So, in order to combat this spiral of depression and fixation, I'm going to attempt the opposite and write a list of things that make me happy, here on August 3rd, 2021. A list of things for which I am grateful. Yes, just like that episode of Big Mouth. Here goes:

  1. I'm grateful for my wife, Whitney. I don't actually believe in the concept of "true" love, mostly because it denotes a fictional state of effortless bliss. Love is not an emotional state, but a chemical bond. A state of being. Sometimes those bonds are ephemeral. Sometimes they degrade slowly over time before failing catastrophically. Occasionally, the bonds of love change as people change, and become stronger with time, not weaker. Whitney and I have the third kind of bond. I say that without any fear of hubris. Our love for each other is very strong, and grows stronger all the time. It's not something you see everyday.
  2. I'm grateful for my son, Nemo. What a beautiful, fascinating, charming little boy we have made. I know most parents think their babies are absolutely enthralling, but how else to explain it? I love this child so much, and I'm just so happy that we created him.
  3. I'm grateful for my mom and dad. Am I really going to go through the entire family like this? You betcha. My parents aren't perfect, but they have always tried to be kind, thoughtful, loving, generous, and supportive. They treated me with respect when I was a child. Where other adults were fond of saying "because I said so," they were always willing to explain themselves, and explain the mechanics of the world around me.
  4. I'm grateful for my little sister, Jen. What a phenomenal, compassionate, vivacious person she is. She was my best friend growing up, and now she's living her dreams as a therapist, helping children overcome trauma. It takes a special person to enter that line of work. And she's so sarcastic, like me! We can laugh with each other for hours.
  5. I'm grateful to live in an actual dwelling that I'm putting equity into, instead of just throwing rent at a landlord. Or living under a bridge.
  6. I'm grateful for my friends. I'm not grateful for how far away most of them are, but I am grateful that modern telecommunications allows me to speak to them, text them, play online games with them, share movies, and video chat. I'm grateful that it's so easy to do those things, and grateful that they want to do them with me.
  7. I'm grateful for toothpaste and electric toothbrushes and floss.
  8. I'm grateful for the way the chemicals in my brain sometimes get it right, and I am filled with overwhelming emotion. I'm grateful for the memories that I can recall with so much nuance, and the way it sometimes feels like anything is possible.
  9. I'm grateful for antibiotics and germ theory and vaccines. Humorism was the prevailing medical framework for over a thousand years!
  10. I'm grateful for video games. And I'm grateful that there are enough nerds with OCD like me that they invented grand strategy and resource management games.
  11. I'm grateful for the abundance of literature and literacy. I'm grateful that the written word is not constrained to the clergy. 
  12. I'm grateful that there are so many artists and comics.
  13. I'm grateful for beer. And I'm grateful that beer is relatively easy to make.
  14. I'm grateful for my handsome, crooked nose.
  15. I'm grateful for the hot, uncomplicated, fulfilling sex I have with my wife. I'm grateful that we never get tired of doing it.
  16. I'm grateful that I didn't get into watching Twin Peaks until after David Lynch made Fire Walk With Me and Twin Peaks: The Return.
  17. I'm grateful for cantaloupe. What a delicious fruit.
  18. I'm grateful for the people who fought hard for workers rights and made things like weekends possible.
  19. I'm grateful for how mysterious eels are. I hope we never find out how eels have sex.
  20. I'm grateful for the domestication of a canine ancestor that made dogs possible.
  21. I'm grateful for the existence of psychedelic mushrooms. 
  22. I'm grateful for the people who are much smarter and more ambitious than me who are working to make a difference in this world instead of just finding new ways to accumulate wealth.
  23. I'm grateful for microwave ovens.
  24. I'm grateful that I won't live forever, even though I'm scared of death.
  25. I'm grateful that I'm still earning royalties from a pair of erotic short stories that I self-published 7 years ago.
  26. I'm grateful that Trump did not win reelection. 
  27. I'm grateful for the fact that tobacco makes me sick, because now I'm much less likely to die early of lung or throat cancer.
  28. I'm grateful that I can afford to spend this time taking care of my son and learning new skills.
  29. I'm grateful that craigslist is still operational and that I was able to sell my old microwave for $20 to an electrical contractor.
  30. I'm grateful that my son is smiley and happy.
Wow. I do feel better.


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