Thinking About Becoming An Irredeemable Drunk

That's a joke. I'm actually working to AVOID becoming an irredeemable drunk, something that my biology is very much at risk for, given my lack of regular serotonin and impulse control. I've heard alcoholism described as a social disease, which is a description I like very much. If our bodies and the very building blocks of our biology can become infected, then why not our cognition? There is evidence to suggest that trauma can be inherited epigenetically. It's the kind of finding that doesn't seem surprising.

Writers like to brag about how much coffee they drink, but I think I might have actual credentials in that department. I started when I was 10 and graduated to drinking it black in middle school. There was a period, coinciding with late teens/early twenties, when I stopped entirely, saying that the acidity upset my stomach. But I started again after my first job in Portland and haven't stopped since. Now I drink about a pot and a half a day. I used to drink it without anything, but I've gotten rather fond of adding brown sugar. Before the pandemic, when I was going into the office, I used honey. Needed something to cut the taste of stale, pre-ground Starbucks.

The worst coffee I ever had was at my last warehouse job, where they never cleaned the coffee maker or the carafe. I tried a few times, but there's only so much you can do with hot water and hand soap. The only way to drink that coffee was when it was piping hot. It was undrinkable the instant it became room temperature. The other thing to do was add a packet of hot chocolate. You could still taste the bitterness of rotten coffee oils, but the cocoa powder made it bearable. I really came to hate that job. Not just because of the pay and the lack of benefits, but the monotony of it. Every week looked exactly like a every other week. And if it didn't, it was only because something went horribly wrong. Admittedly, that's the job I was at when I was diagnosed with my issues, so my experiences may be clouded by that pain, but I can't imagine working there for ten years. Loading the same delivery vans. Cleaning the same merchandise. The same fucking jokes every day. I like working in an office, more or less.