On the Subject of Writing Full-Time

After publishing last night's post, and then looking back over some older posts, I realized that one might get the impression that I think being a full-time writer (that is to say, someone who makes their money entirely from writing, and in particular, writing works of fiction) is a near-impossible feat achievable only by those with wealth and connections. I want to apologize if I have made that impression.

I know people who are full-time authors. And I know there are lots of people out there making their livings right now from writing fiction. People who got to where they are through perseverance, skill, and adaptation (although, yes, lots of people leverage their connections in the entertainment industry or use someone else's money to bankroll their work).

If I sounded disparaging, it is because I am also talking to my past self when I write these things. I am addressing the person I used to be, and the notions he would carry in that sloppy head of his.

Like most people, I bought into the romanticism of being a writer. Books were these magical things that made me feel ways about stuff, and I wanted to make magical things too. I also very much wanted to be different from the other children in some fundamental way that would validate my weird, social ineptitude. That is to say, I never got laid in high school. When I entered college, I was proud of the fact that I already had my major picked out. I wasn't some pampered layabout who could waste his first year of college partying and "figuring out" what he wanted to do with his life. I had a plan! I had ambitions!

In retrospect, it would have done me a lot of good to chill the fuck out and try some drugs.

In those days, I was DESPERATE to get published. What I quickly discovered when I moved to Portland is that you don't need to be published, or even have a finished book, to hang out with writers. To talk like them and drink like them and feel included. Holy shit if that wasn't the lynchpin of it all. Feeling included. Having friends.

Over the course of my education, both within and beyond academia, dozens of writers have told me how to be a writer. They told me straight up how hard it would be, how much rejection I would have to face, and what kinds of hours I could expect to work. But when you're a kid who's never done anything before, everything sounds plausible. And, of course, there's always that secret thought: but maybe I'm different. Maybe I don't have to suffer years of rejection. Maybe I don't have to develop good work habits. Maybe I'm just naturally talented and the rewards of my talent will flow in their own time. 

Sounds pretty fucking conceited when I write it all out.

The point is, being a full-time writer is not a gig reserved for the idle rich, it's just much harder to get there if you aren't already born on second or third base. Being a full-time author takes dedication. It takes years of work. I simply haven't put in the work yet. And, truthfully, I may never get to that point. For one thing, I like having a steady job that gives me benefits like PTO and health insurance and a retirement fund. I like having money. I like having other skills to cultivate. And I am definitely a creature who needs structure imposed on him, because otherwise, I will procrastinate and drink and just generally waste my time.

Somedays I think I'm gonna turn it all around and just start growing mushrooms for a living. Or writing erotica. Or selling shit on eBay. Because I'm still that hyperactive kid who gave a 10th grade health class presentation on the physiological benefits of regular masturbation.